The beginning of the end.

It's morning, my brain isn't de-fogged yet. I just read that Japanese researchers have officially declared 35 as the age that women start aging rapidly. The beginning of the end. I have seven months of my youth left I guess. What will I do with it? Perhaps I should get the $250 anti-aging skin cream, created by the same researchers who conducted this very scientific survey. Will that bring back the uninhibited ideas and unsquashed dreams. Will it bring back the endless energy and the days that I had simple worries, like which leg warmers to wear. Will it bring back the fearless adventurer in me.

You see it's not the wrinkles that I fear. It's the death of my youthful spirit, the girl who daydreamed and wished on stars and found magic in everyday things. I miss her.

I also did a quick test from a book and realized that I have some serious avoidence issues. I haven't got to the point in the book that tells me what to do about it, but I'm avoiding that part, because I'm sure it will tell me to do all kinds of things that make me uncomfortable. That's another part of my youth I miss. when you're young, you are always uncomfortable, so you get uesed to it, and it doesn't always stop you. As I've gotten older, my comfort zone is very important to me. I feel I've earned the right to not feel uncomfortable. To feel secure and safe in my bubble, and how dare you ask me to leave that bubble.
So I guess I have some serious avoidence issues I need to work on.

I'm writing again. Really. A novel that I've been thinking about writing for years. It requires a lot of research but the story is already there. It is inspired by the very real lives of my grandparents, about their youth. I don't think I would have had their courage.